


Downtime with Weapon X on a Plane

by TheCursor



Category: Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. (TV), Deadpool (2016), Marvel Cinematic Universe, Punisher: War Zone (2004), The Avengers (Marvel Movies), Wolverine (Movies)
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-01-26
Updated: 2016-01-27
Packaged: 2018-05-16 09:34:54
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,331
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5823535
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheCursor/pseuds/TheCursor
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Clint doesn't like his new teammates</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

Civilians rarely experience the strange hell that comes from waiting for a combat mission to actually start. The waiting can drive you crazy if you don't stay focused on getting ready. Some guys claim that they love it, that they actually love the anticipation. But nearly 15 years into the game and Clint Barton still hadn't gotten used to it.

Usually he looked to his team for support in situations like this. Maybe joke around with Coulson on the radio, talk sports with Bridge, or flirt with Daisy in front of Natasha and watch the fur fly. Right now he didn't have that option because he wasn't working with his typical crew.

Budapest was a joint operation between SHIELD and the US Army, which meant that the specialized skills of several agents were spread around to create two teams with very different capabilities. Team One was mostly composed of Bridge, Daisy, a couple of the really hardened guys Clint knew and respected, with Maria running the show.

Clint wasn't on that team.

Clint was on Team Two, which consisted of three SHIELD agents (Coulson, Frank Castle, and himself) working with a bunch of very annoying mutant psychopaths from William Stryker's Weapon X project.

And he hated Team Two. Hated everything about working with mutants and Stryker and creepy, morally bankrupt science projects where they handed a gun to lunatics and said "go get 'em".

He wouldn't be here, would have never joined up on this mission, if it wasn't for who they were trying to find.

"Who are we picking up again?" Clint could hear Wade Wilson from the other end of the plane joking around. Normally he would've just tuned it out but Wilson hadn't shut up since the pre mission breifing and the guy was starting to get on his nerves.

"Some dishy SHIELD bitch." That voice belonged to Victor Creed, some sort of half animal/ half man creep who could send chills up your spine with a look.

"Dishy?"

"Yeah, they had her photo in the file."

"Oh." Wilson said with a shrug. It was clear Wilson hadn't actually read the briefing. Why would he? He was an assassin and assassins don't read files. It was unprofessional but Clint had gotten used seeing wetwork guys act like idiots. "What's her name?"

"Natasha." Creed's voice was now a soft growl and Clint could almost hear the erection in the guy's voice. For some reason, it was really getting on Clint's nerves.

"Natasha." Wilson said, liking the name, "Sounds sexy. You said she's a dish?"

"Yup." Creed seemed to be getting more and more excited and Clint knew Creed was picturing Natasha Romanoff. Naked. Doing things. "If she lives through this bullshit, maybe we should show her a good time." Clint had to bite his tongue.

Natasha could take care of herself and he didn't need to go around defending her honor every time some asshole made a lewd comment behind her back. She was a big girl. She didn't need big strong Hawkeye to take care of her. Except he really wanted to. He wanted to walk over to Victor Creed and plant an arrow in the guy's face and then keep shooting arrows until there was nothing left of the mutant killer but a big red smear on the walls of the plane.

This was a big problem for Clint, a weakness he couldn't shake. He was way too attached to a woman who probably didn't think about him as anything more than a good time between missions and a drinking buddy.

"Maybe we should ALL show her a good time." Wilson joked, "Family style."

A couple of members of the Weapon X team started laughing and everybody was imagining taking turns with the girl from their dossiers. Logan dropped a fairly vile joke about how Fred Dukes would propose marriage to her and that made everybody laugh harder.

That was about all Clint Barton could stand. Since his bow was still stuck with the rest of his gear, he reached into his belt and pulled one of the steel throwing knives he kept as a back up. With a quick motion of his arm, Clint sent the knife across the cabin of the plane and landed perfectly between Wade Wilson's crotch and his knees, two inches below the chatty killer's testicles.

The laughing stopped.

The End


	2. Frank and Vic Make Nice

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Clint doesn't like his new teammates, his old teammates like them even less.

The laughing stopped....and then the angry shouting started. Clint watched as the entire Weapon X started reaching for guns and knives, Wade fumbled for his sword in the overhead. Then there was the click of seat belts being unfastened and Barton knew it was about to get ugly in here.

Good, he thought and he pulled another knife from his boot. For six months he kept hearing about how badass the X-Weapons were, Mutant soldiers were the future everyone at SHIELD kept saying. These men were programmed and trained to be perfect, normal agents didn't stand a chance. It was long past time for somebody to finally put that to a test.

Wade Wilson got up first, swinging that stupid sword at Clint's head. The swing went wide and in an instant Clint was out of his seat and on his feet. Soon he was swinging his blade at Wade's midsection while the younger assassin kept yammering about how many pieces Barton was about to get sliced into. Two punches to the gut and a headbutt ended most of Wade Wilson's trash talk.

He stood over Wade, daring the talkative fool to say something else, but his attention slipped for just a moment. It was all the opening Victor Creed needed to slip in behind him and wrap a single bulging forearm around his neck. "I'd appreciate it if you stop knocking my little buddy around." The voice was like the hard growl of an animal, "Otherwise I'm gonna have to hurt you, little birdie."

"Your little buddy has a big mouth." Barton snarled as he struggled to escape the larger man's crushing grip but Creed's stranglehold held firm.

"What's the matter, kid, You sweet on the lady?" Creed placed his other hand behind Barton's head as if he was preparing to snap the smaller man's neck, "Tell you what, I hate to see a fella suffer like that. How about I just...turn off the lights." 

Maybe Creed would've done it, maybe this was just a sick joke. But the minute Barton felt the sick monster's grip tighten, there was a loud clicking sound and Barton could smell the gun oil from Frank Castle's .45 caliber automatic. "Shut up and sit down, Vic." Frank's voice had a vocal register that was a somewhere between a bass drum and a car engine but at that exact moment, Barton thought it sounded like the Vienna Boy's Choir. 

"I'm teaching your pet bird some manners, Frank, it's none of your-" 

Frank didn't even wait for Creed to finish his sentence before pulling the trigger and blowing a massive hole in the big mutant's forehead. The bullet was a special SHIELD round that fragmented and bounced around inside it's target. This made it safe to fire inside an aircraft...it also caused severe soft tissue damage, something that would take at least two hours for Creed's healing factor to fully recover from. The man code-named Sabertooth would be unconscious for the rest of the flight.

"Never liked you very much Victor. Ever." Frank muttered as he holstered his weapon. Then he sent a hard glare at Wade Wilson, "You got anymore jokes asshole?"

Wade quietly sat back in his seat and buckled his seat belt.  He was quiet for the rest of the journey. 

Just then the bathroom door opened and Phil Coulson stepped back into the passenger section. He looked around at the blood on the walls, the nervous looks on Team Weapon X, and Barton's satisfied grin. The senior agent sighed. 

"Fury makes me clean these planes you know." 

The End


End file.
